Melatonin

Something in my brain changed when I had my first child.  I haven't slept well in 12 years.  The tiniest noise or movement wakes me up, and then I can't go back to sleep.

Every night I read to my youngest two children.  Often, by the end I'm falling over in the chair, saying funny things like, "Goodnight room, goodnight moon, , good night . . . grocery store . . . had to get laundry . . ." Slightly aware of what I am saying, I shake my head hard.

Henry again:  "MOM!  Read my book!"

I continue, with garbled speech, "Good night cow jumping over the moon.  Goodnight red balloon . . . it fell down in the sky . . .  it's at the teacher's . . . . she didn't give you your homework but you can get it at the grocery . . .  ooooohhhhhhh."

Henry here pats my shoulder, "MOM!"

Another shake of my head.  "Ooooo.Kkkkkk. Henry."  Widen my eyes, pat my cheeks.  "And goodnight to the . . . old lady who lives in the room . . . Goodnight stars.  Goodnight air.   Almost done.  Almost done.  I can DO it.  Goodnight everywhere."

Sometimes I pass out at this point.  Head down in front or lolling to the side.  This is so disappointing, because the kids leave my lap, run out of the room and start playing.  I'm vaguely aware, but literally too sleepy to pull my head back up, except to lift my heavy eyes slightly and slur, "Kids . . . come . . . back. . . "

At some point my husband, who is downstairs studying, notices the pattering of their feet, comes in and says, "Why did you let them out of bed?"  It's hard to get them back to bed again.  But he usually sweetly takes over, encouraging me to go to bed.

After I  painfully wake up from that 5 minute nap, I'm miraculously re-energized.   All I can see is work, work, work.  So what would any busy mother do?  Get to work.

Around 11, 12, 1, or 2, I run out of projects or steam, and try to go to bed.  Sleep is restless.  And short.  The day starts again in the morning when the first person wakes up, because I can't sleep past any noises in the morning.  And the first person wakes up around 5:30.

Generally I don't use dietary supplements beyond my daily multivitamin.  But someone recommended melatonin.  I've been taking it for 2 weeks now.  It's a "natural" supplement for something that your brain supposedly makes on its own.  I'm not so sure I believe my brain makes it.

Nonetheless, this tiny pill has changed my life for two weeks now.  Following the directions, I take it 20 minutes before "bedtime"--whatever time that is.  And I melt into my bed for the entire night.  If I happen to get woken up for a moment, I go right back to sleep. 

The other night, I did get woken up once by Jackie.  I don't even remember what she said, but my hubby took a turn to get up and  help her.  For once I didn't lie there awake wondering if he needed my help.  I rolled over and slept like a baby once again.