Reverse Psychology

So I remember my sister using reverse psychology with her little toddler . . . "Don't get in the bathtub,"  "Don't smile!" and "Don't . . . NO . . . whatever you do . . . don't eat the peas!"

I never thought I would use any reverse psychology myself.  But I've learned that sometimes it really works.

I used to force my oldest to practice the piano.   And I'd force her to do her homework.  And I'd force her to do this or that.

The truth is, there will always be things I have to force my kids to do, right?

But here's some of examples of practicing what I've learned.

I always sit and help my children at the piano.  One of my kids doesn't like it.  The others do.  Jackie (6) only recently started learning to play.  A little wiggly, she has a hard time practicing very long before she gets distracted and starts playing funny things.  She often does this with a little look toward me that yells, "Mom!  How far can I push you."

With Anika, I might have been mad about this.  But, oh, have I learned a lesson!  So here's how I handle it.

Me, sometimes with a friendly smile, sometimes with a bit of annoyance:  "Jackie,  I have a lot to do.  I have laundry, dishes, cooking to do.  When I'm having fun, I'm happy to help you on the piano.  But this is not fun. So . . . " I stand up at this point.  "Let me know when you're ready to practice again."  And I leave, knowing that Jackie really does want me to stay with her.   She often begs me to come back, and our practicing continues without incident.

Here was tonight's, which really is why I wrote this post.  I was trying to get the kids ready for bed late after attending the book fair at our school.  I admittedly have an extremely hard time getting the kids to bed because they know just what to ask that I will give into--more books, homework, etc.  Sometimes it take me a couple hours to get them to bed!!

Jackie has been working on spelling words for her class, and Morgan begged me to find an online list and give her spelling words to practice too.  So tonight, when I was worried about the kids getting to bed, I said with a straight face, "Girls, if you don't get ready for bed, we won't be practicing spelling words.

"Nnnnnooooooo," they both said.

Sometimes the best punishments are not taking away what the child wants, but what you want the child to want.